By Flumping back into the couch. Staring at the walls…letting the words play hide and seek on my mind. I find myself wondering most of the time. Why?
Am I scared? Am I the person who hides behind the fear?
I don’t know where the answer lies. But I still ask this question to myself in the mirror every day. Where does the fear lie, within me or within the four-lettered word “FEAR”?
Does it come from within one’s soul or is it just a mind’s game? Besides, how is able to destroy an individual’s dreams? Is it that powerful or are we not strong enough?
Am I that weak?
I never knew the perfect definition of fear until I started living with one.
It detaches people from being in the best state of any relation. This confiscates the confidence creating the illusions of getting failed miserably.
Want to hear about my fear?
I fear your disheartening attitude towards me. I am scared to hear your harsh opinions. My insecurities bound me deeply and I step away from my dreams.
My fear continues…in love, relationship, life. What if I fall in love one day? What if someone breaks my heart? What if I am felt all alone?
I fear being lonely too. The unpredictable future, the scary past, and the unpleasant present- every phase of time scares me.
As I grew older, these fear blocked my highway. I blaming the word ‘fear’ itself for bringing bad things into my life.
Then one day, I realized something. If a bigger fear approached me, I eventually overcame the smaller ones. And this cycle went on. To my surprise, my own fears feared my new fears. Actually, I was feared of nothing.
It was nothing more than a relentless mind.
Here’s what I tried doing…
I sought the solution to my fear. I tried to live a life free of fear by coping to letting go of my painful thoughts. What actually helped me was: ‘Accepting the reality.’ Nothing went wrong beyond reality.
I stayed calm and regained my strengths. Transforming my weaknesses into strengths was the biggest leap of my life. I started embracing what came in and what went by. And slowly but gradually, my fears went away.
Khalil Gibran in his poem once said,
“A river cannot go back.
The river needs to take the risk of entering the ocean
Because only then will the fear disappear.
And that’s where the river will know
It’s not about disappearing into the ocean,
But of becoming the ocean.”
This is my journey from being a fearful child to a fierce girl.
What I learned from my fear and what I wish you to take away from this piece is: ‘Never let your fear win over your strengths. I know you’ve been scared, I know you fear, but there’s always a choice to win or let go of it.’
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