It’s Not Easy Being A Man | Sneha Jha

man

How many countless of times have our society ignored a man’s feeling?

The immense number of times that we have considered your (man) feeling trivial is insane. Due to society being insensitive of your feelings you are pressured to hide them behind your safe cover of pseudoism and smile through the pain.

But hey I want to request you to let it all out. It’s okay to feel things. It’s okay to cry and be happy. It’s okay to let yourself be swayed away with the feelings. You do not always need to be masculine and stout.

You can be vulnerable because you are not carved out of stones. You have feelings and I respect that. What would be the difference between a beast and a man without a feeling?

You have been forced to fit on that perfect picture painted since many centuries about men. You are forced to hide everything under a fake cover of a macho man. You are scarred so bad that you are scared to show your vulnerability in front of others.

One thing you really need to learn is that emotions even if you express them or not, never dies.

It is buried alive deep down and it will come forth later in more severe and uglier ways. I know you keep on hearing people complain about how you don’t pour your heart out but nobody knows how a simple task of sharing about yourself has become the most tedious job for you and you find comfort in constricting yourself within you.

You must be sick of hearing the phrase “Men don’t cry”

You must be sick of hearing the phrase “Men don’t cry” from your very young age to adulthood and that is why intentionally or unintentionally you express it in a more destructive way that not only breaks you but burns everyone around you.

You are usually praised and considered a real man for your wealth, achievements, lifestyle, sexual vigor, being decisive, headstrong, determined and even emotionless.

This creates such a complex inner self that you do not find a human persona within yourself. You are forced to believe that emotion is for girls unless it is to do anything with achieving like pride, ego, drive, anger, etc.

There are even songs like “Big Boys Don’t Cry” which in itself gives the meaning that crying or showing vulnerability is wrong. I bet most of us have not seen our father or our grandfather expressing any vulnerability as they believed that they should be the rock for their family.

But I urge you to take off your mask. It’s okay to be weak. It’s okay to be vulnerable. It’s okay to break down cause it’s all part of you. It does not make you any less of a man. You are a fighter, an example for many. Thank you for being everyone’s strength but please don’t hesitate to ask for someone’s shoulder when you are tired. Don’t be afraid to show your weakness because nevertheless, you are still a brave spirited warrior.

You will have your moments of fall but I know you will stand stronger like the Phoenix bird who rises reborn and stronger from the ashes.

You are important to me and your emotional health is also very important. For that you cannot inhibit yourself till you are left with a soulless cover of a body. I know it is an uphill battle but I have faith in you that you will fight it nevertheless.

I used to be always amused with your infatuation towards sports but now I guess I can figure out the reason why. Because while watching or playing sports you can be yourself. You can hug your friends out of happiness when your favorite team wins and you can be crying your eyes out when your favorite team loses. You feel that adrenaline rush and free-spirited while you are playing. And just like sports, I want you to be exhilarated in each and every moment of your life.

I want you to feel and express every emotion known to human beings in whatever you are doing.

I can’t imagine the number of abuses and mistreatment you might have gone through to become what you are today. I fear whether the people around you treated you right or not. Were you able to object to any wrong deed happening to you? Were you shushed at that time too? I really respect you for being able to smile through your pain.

I want you to remember that you are significant to someone and you will never be weak by being human. It is a way to reinvent yourself. It will make you even stronger.
I want the society to stop teaching the little boys to stop crying just because of their gender because from a very young age you are teaching that kid to be inhumane. They will be afraid to be themselves and express what they are feeling in the fear of being judged or called feminine. So cut them some slack and let them bloom at their own pace.
We are also raising them to be homophobic because if they express feelings then this judgmental society calls them by different names like gay, hijada etc. They start to feel that being third gender is a curse or a bad thing. Lack of expression has been raising the cases of suicide among men at a tremendous rate too. Everybody deserves to be heard.


As women, we are very much focused on our well-being. It is very important but are we truly checking on the men of our lives. Are they really strong or are pretending to be?

I urge all the women to be emotional support and outlet to all the important men in your life. Be trustable enough that they can at least express an ounce of what they are feeling. You are important but your male counterpart is important too.

We have to appreciate the societal pressures placed on them as well as familial and religious conditions men have to bear. We can try to think like them and be a little understanding that life is hard for everyone regardless of gender. We should have mutual respect and support. The world cannot be a better place by just supporting a single-gender. All genders need to be equally dignified and respected.

That is only how we can get a happy and healthy society. It is very abusive to put up pressure on men to provide with certain lavish life. As women are not rehabilitation centers for badly raised men so are not men to eradicate women’s poverty and give them a lavish life. Family pressure and societal pressure should be equally distributed to all genders.

We should understand that they have their own fair share of problems and challenges. Life is not bed of roses for anyone. It just differs in how you live and treat it.

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Sneha Jha is affiliated with blogging sites like Offline thinker as the art of writing intrigues her. She believes that words have power and public speaking is challenging which is the reason why she is also a public speaker. She loves spelling out her thoughts and interacting with others. She is one of the people who loves challenging herself with new opportunities and ventures and learning a lot through it. She has converted her passion into a profession due to which she loves every second of her work. She is an easy-going person and the simplest of things can make her happy.

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