By My lips quiver and I tremble in fear every time I hear the term ‘Bullying’. This term itself sends chills down my spine because it takes me back to my adolescent age where I had to continuously bear with the bullies for five consequent years. I was bullied in middle school and I still bear the scars six years later. The continuous bullying also resulted in a life-long lesson for me.
I have always hesitated to bring this topic out because the aftershocks of those ruthless days still follow me. To exactly explain what I had gone through at that time let me take you through a memory lane.
I was eleven years old when I got the bitter taste of bullying for the very first time.
I had just completed my primary school and had moved to a middle school. I was a really optimistic person who kept on believing that good days will surely come. I was quite good at academics so I felt confident that I would be fine in my new school as well.
I was successful in spending some great days in the beginning but I didn’t realize that the great period was just the calm before the storm.
Things started to go downhill as soon as the result of the first terminal examination came out. I secured really great position at that time but from that day onwards my school life turned into a nightmare. There were 2-3 girls who always scored the top 3 positions in the school before. But with my arrival, the continuous ever-predictable term result changed. And then they held grudge against me. They took it upon themselves to break me down mentally.
They started to create and chant many mean nicknames for me and even started to spread some baseless rumors. People used to come out of nowhere and tell me some out-of-the-box stories that they heard about me. I was left astonished on how to deal with it.
I was humiliated and belittled at every chance they could get. From isolating myself in some inter-class programs to making fun of what I was eating in lunch, I went through all of it. Let me tell you that I tried to be civil with them in many instances because it happened for five years but they never changed.
This was going out of my control so I shared my suffering with my parents.
But as they went to complain supporting my statement, those bullying friends presented themself in a polite manner in front of the teacher and my parents. I believed they would never repeat what they used to do, but the next day was as same as it used to be.
They even lashed out many racist comments at me.
On other hand, just like the clear sky after a very stormy night, I kept hoping for the good days to come. I kept praying for those torment full days to be over.
What really helped me go through those times was no matter how hard they tried, I avoided their initiatives at all cost. I have noticed that having a reaction from you is the biggest wish of the bullies, and if you stop giving it to them then they get tired of bullying you. This was the trick I used to cope up with those five dreadful years. Though they didn’t completely stop, I was still successful in lowering it down a little bit.
I am not going to lie to you. Those few years of bullying had a complete personality shift for me. From being an extrovert, I became an ambivert who is scared to reach out to new people but is inclined towards public speaking.
Looking back, those years have become a life lesson for me now. I have learned that my scars can never be bigger than me and embracing the way I am is really important.
Read more from Sneha Jha :
https://offlinethinker.com/madhesis-sneha-jha-134/
Why Aren’t Madhesis Counted as Nepali? Give Me #1 Reason | Sneha Jha
Follow Offline Thinker on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. You can send us your writings at connect.offlinethinker@gmail.com
