By -Susan Chaudhary
They say death is something we cannot avoid; the ‘INEVITABLE’. Every day, every second and every moment, somebody is dying somewhere in the world. And here I am with no superpower or witchy magic, wishing not to die.
I don’t want to die doesn’t mean I wish to live more. Who wishes to live more in this cruel devastating world where people fight for the name, fame, power, and all? My statement ‘I don’t want to die’ means I don’t want to live in my past. It symbolizes my desire to be in the present time.
Often times, I forget that there is a future ahead of me. I forget there is a present where I actually should be. And I start enjoying living in the past; living with my dead memories. This happens maybe because my past was much beautiful. I was a responsibility-free kid. I was a happy, careless, and reckless child who didn’t care about what others thought about me. I had no expectations or dissatisfaction. That’s why I get nostalgic about the past and I let go of my present.
People willing to die, depict their unpleasant present. The strong feeling of letting their dreams down. Those willing to die reflect the lack of hope, feeling of loneliness, and hopelessness. When nothing happens the way you wish them to happen, you start living in the past. That’s dying. Living in the past means being in a dead-living body. A body where your soul is in the past and only your physical body is here which makes no sense.
That’s why I do not want to die. I do not want to be a dead-living body. I do not want to let go of my dream. I do not want to lose my hope over anything. But life is unfair sometimes. Even if you give your best or do the best, it won’t pay you back 100%. Your dreams might fail, your self-motivation will crease to zero. And? You start dying again.
I have encountered the same situation many times in life. Here’s what I do, “When there is no way inside, you look for a way outside.” I look for an external force of energy to re-live in the present moment again.
Movies, songs, conversations, and travel are my 4 external sources of energy. They reignite the dying version of me to recharge to the fullest.
Like, movies inspire me to keep looking for a happy ending. Songs make me understand the power of living in the moments. Conversation with friends or elder ones forces me to redefine life and my problems. Traveling somewhere outside my house lets me think from another perspective.
Yes, I take some time alone to burst out my anger or sadness but I try not to let myself live in the past. It’s hard but it’s worth it.
“Have patience. All things are difficult before they become easy.”
Here is a final ‘WHY’ I don’t want to die. It’s because I love my present. I love what is happening at the moment; good or bad. I am ready to face anything that comes up but I will continue to live in the present. That’s what life is, that’s what life wants to teach us. That’s why I am happy. That’s why I don’t want to die.
Read More from Susan Chaudhary:
7 Things To Do When Anxiety Hits You | Article by Susan Chaudhary
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