By ‘I don’t want to live’, he said, ‘Nobody cares about me.’ | Written by Susan Chaudhary [Offline Thinker]
It was 2 years back. I was lying on a couch surfing through my Facebook feed. A message popped in “I am good at nothing. Nobody cares about me. I do not want to live.”
It was from one of my friends from school. He had never texted me this hopelessly. Shocked and puzzled, I asked him what had happened. He sent me a photo of his hand; bruises and blood all over. He added, “I am going to cut my hand. I don’t want to live anymore. Everyone is selfish. It’s better if I die.”
The bruised hand and his hopeless message got me panicked. Every worst scenario came pouring in an instant; I didn’t know what to do. A moment later, I realized that he had said ‘he will cut his hand’ and not ‘he has cut his hand’.
I was relieved for the moment; nothing worse had happened. I took a few deep breaths, calmed myself, and replied, “Hey, never say you wish to die. Don’t ever say nobody cares about you. Who doesn’t care about you? Your celebrity crush or the stranger you saw on the road?”
I added, “There are people who care but don’t text you every day. There are people who don’t say they love you but they are there in times of trouble. You don’t need to impress everyone and you shouldn’t think of dying because one or a few people disappointed you. There’s a life ahead of you. Come over to my house. Let’s go for a walk. Everything will be okay.”
It was a simple two minutes of conversation. Yes, he was panicked and frustrated with his life but the phrase “I am here for you” worked like magical words.
What we fail to understand is everyone is going through something and sometimes we don’t see one hanging by a thread. That day, my messages became a lifeline. He came by my house, we walked to the park, and talked about how he was feeling and everything came back to normal.
We are still good friends. He comes to visit me every fortnight. But from that day onwards, one thing changed. I haven’t heard him utter the word ‘suicide’ anymore.
What had happened? Nothing big.
I only assured him I was there if he needed me. That was enough to help him get back his self-esteem and self-confidence.
The reason I am sharing you this story is that we do not know what’s going on in the other person’s head. He might be in trouble or in pain. He might need our presence only or a reply saying, ‘Tell me what’s bothering you, I will support you no matter what.’
Here’s what we do instead. Either laugh at their misery or ignore their presence.
What we fail to understand is that the person reaching out to us might need our support and warmth or just our presence.
Our one little ignorance, one person’s bully, one harsh comment, or one false blame could push a healthy yet hopeless heart to fall off the edge and end their lives forever.
After a suicide takes place we write, ‘I should have been there but I wasn’t. Sorry.’ We promote the statement ‘Suicide is not an option’. We retweet a hashtag #saynotosuicide.
Yet we repeat; to ignore and to laugh. Months later a new case gets registered and the social media sympathy starts over.
Kindness and empathy are necessary; which is what our generation might be lacking. Let’s not be one among many reasons for anyone’s last breathe. If somebody comes to talk to you about their problem, listen to them. Don’t mock them or disregard them in person. Support from your side, talk to them, and make them feel their strength. Help each other in times of difficulties or trouble because the truth is we can’t help everyone, but everyone can help someone.
Photo Credit: Khichikka
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If you know someone who needs help, contact here:
-Patan Hospital Helpline for Suicide Prevention: 9813476123
-Transcultural Psychosocial Organization-Nepal Crisis Hotline: 16600102005
-TUTH Suicide Hotline: 9840021600
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Why I Don’t Want To Die | Written by Susan Chaudhary [Offline Thinker]
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