By Craving, Aversion and Equanimity
Back in Kathmandu, there’s a bakery that serves a coconut cake as one of their products. I didn’t know this until recently; I entered the place and tasted the flavour for the first time. What happened after was it drooled inside my mouth. Not only that, but it also took me to my childhood forming a nostalgia. Since then I have longed for the piece so much that I travel 45 minutes on public transport for the very cake each week.
Again, I don’t want to evoke the moments when I got bullied and judged. It led me to hate everyone around me, including myself. I was an emotional kid and even a bit of inconvenience would cause an outburst in my actions. When things won’t go according to the plan, it caused discomfort in me. And I used to hate it.
The tendency to want something repeated, be it material or emotional. Something pleasant and beautiful, including the pain that you long for is craving. The term aversion is its opposite. In the state of aversion, you don’t like something. The feeling of disgust towards the unpleasant emotions/experiences in our life.
We spend our lives either chasing things we desire or avoiding things that we don’t. When things go according to our will, we become delighted. But whenever things go otherwise, they concern us. Sometimes we go overboard with our emotions. Then we get an emotional ride, be it pain or pleasure, and end up acting upon it. Often, the desires or hatred work as a motivation factor. Allowing us to perform a certain activity that may or may not benefit us.
But you know what? There’s also another term used. That’s “equanimity”.
Its synonyms are patience, serenity, composure. Where a person accepts whatever is happening to them and refuses to act on the emotions. It’s not about completely ignoring or depressing your sentiments. The idea is to know what you are feeling, why are you feeling the way you are feeling, after which you let it be. To not react, to not get clutched by emotions and expressions is what equanimity is. Kind of like a state where you are independent of all the worldly high and lows.
In the present, we hear the spiritual teachers talking about handling the emotions. They often mention how emotions corrupt us. Suggests us that we should rise above the sentiments to get this spiritual destination called “enlightenment”. To not crave for the pleasures or abhor nothing and accept the circumstances.
We wonder how?
How to keep going without the expressions, when we are trained to do the very thing since birth? We have modelled ourselves such that our emotions declare us and drive our actions. We have always demanded more when we encounter something nice, be it food, place or person. And driven distance from the phenomena that don’t qualify our understanding. That’s our nature.
Suddenly, there comes equanimity, and it overwhelms us. To unlearn and to jump on a different track of poise. It takes years of dedication and discipline to bring serenity into function. An environment where it’s normal to cry over a dropped cone of ice cream. Or cheer up over the added followers in social media. It is challenging and weird to resist reacting and apprehend things in their raw form.
Yet, imagine the power you hold that these teachers claim. When you remain neutral over situations and mind the incidents rationally, life gets peaceful. It serves you with a diverse perspective and mental growth. You understand what’s happening and why is it happening, the procedures of life. And be able to make better decisions/judgements.
Start from an act a day, with baby steps. Perhaps you want to message your crush that’s been ignoring you since eternity. Try to observe your feeling and ask yourself why. Is it possible to let go without making assumptions and conclusions that either elevate you or depress you? Or you’ve hated a person since long. Here, try figuring out their state of mind and you might see something that you didn’t see before. Try slicing your emotions up, understand what’s causing it, don’t rush to react.
Take your time to understand what value a certain thing holds in your life. Your reaction towards it, and how will it affect afterwards. When you advance to remain detached and neutral in at least one moment a day, you will evolve. You will soar beyond cravings and aversions, attaining the power of equanimity.
A Tale Of Raami | Story by Smritee Neupane
A Tale Of Raami | Story by Smritee Neupane [Offline Thinker]
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