By It was the time of July 2019, mid-summer. The temperature of Kathmandu city was 23 Degree Celsius. The entire city was full of people, buildings, vehicles, and hope.
I was one of them, standing in front of a tall apartment waiting for someone. Someone meant her, a girl, in her early twenties, whom I trusted and cared about the most.
I hated waiting. But for her, I was waiting there for hours. It was almost dusk, but she still hadn’t arrived. I consoled myself saying that we have to have the patience to taste good times of life.
That day she was going to her home town. It was the 24th anniversary of her mom and dad. She sounded excited to meet them. She was buying gifts for them, and that had consumed her time. Because she was traveling outside of the valley, she went to buy more stuff for her journey.
But time is time. I was getting totally pissed off by then. And I Was murmuring alone. Then she happened to come from behind me and patted on my shoulder. Finally, she arrived. I got happy. I noticed that she was wearing a printed straight quarter. Simply, she was looking so gorgeous and perfect that evening. I don’t know what magic she did to me whenever I saw her. Her face always made me so delighted. Her presence was so magical that I felt blissful when she was around me. And I just froze for a moment.
As I didn’t even move my lips to greet ‘hello’, she herself held my hands in hers and softly whispered, “Okay, I am sorry again, please don’t be angry anymore.”
She giggled adding, ‘Dear, you look so funny when you get angry.’
I was back to my normal by then. And was not angry anymore. I was just startled.
Looking at my watch, I realized it was already late for her bus. So, we started walking through the streets. And, yeah she smelled so good and she was smiling all the way. But somewhere I felt her heart was sad. But despite our skeptical thoughts we kept walking.
We were crossing the road. Bus Park was only miles away. When we crossed the road by a zebra crossing, I was holding her hand tightly, and I turned around. I looked at her face and into her dark brown eyes. I strongly felt something wasn’t going right.
I asked her “Are you okay?”
In reply, she just smiled and nodded her head with a ‘Yes’. We reached the bus park. The engine of her bus was already rumbling. We were separating for a few days. I noticed she was still smiling gently.
I helped her keep the luggage inside the bus. I knew she didn’t want to go, but we knew it was important. She came closer to me and hugged me tightly for a minute. The bus honked to call all the passengers. She unwillingly let go of me and stepped on the bus. The engine started and the bus moved.
I was happy to be there for her until I noticed a drop of tears on her cheek. She wiped out her tears and said bye to me. Then she turned around.
I never knew that was her last goodbye to me. I wish I could never let her take that bus. I wish I could tell my feelings to her. I wish I could tell her, “How badly I need you in my life. How much I adore you. How much I care for you. How much I miss your voice. How much I love you.”
But I never expressed it. I always thought and worried that she would ghost our beautiful friendship’s bonding. And she would start hating me. But in fact, I never wanted to lose her, that’s why I never revealed my heart out to her.
I had never imagined it would be her last goodbye to me. I had never imagined it would be her last day with me. That day my heart broke into pieces and I fell apart.
Well, our life is so unpredictable.
-Pravakar Prasad Yadav
Image by aliceabc0 from Pixabay
