By Behind The Smile
People say a smile is a medicine that can heal anything. And it is acceptable as well. Despite the hardship Pabitra was dealing with, it was her smile that was giving her the strength to wake up every day to start fresh.
Here is the story of the women whom I met during my stay at Jamune Gaun. It was her dashing smile that was so welcoming. However, at the same time, I felt like her smile was trying to tell a success story that may inspire me.
I couldn’t resist my urge to talk to her. I found out she was waiting to share her story that she had buried deep inside her heart for so long. It was the opposite of my hypothesis.
She always had a hard time since her childhood. Due to inter-caste marriage (Dalit and Chhetri) of her parents, her grandparents and the whole community didn’t accept them. It always brought conflict in her family. By the time she was at 2 years old, her family had to shifted somewhere else to avoid hatred from her grandparents and the entire community.
Like normal children, she started school at 4. But destiny had put away something else for her. Her elder brother was abducted by Maoist at 12. This had made her family suffer a lot. She dropped out of school at the age of twelve. Her close relative convinced her to get married and have a beautiful life with her husband. That’s why at age of 15 she decided to get married.
After one year of marriage, she gave birth to a son. Both she and her husband were happy as a family. But her happiness didn’t last for a long time. What she did not know was gradually that joy slamming down. Pabitra never thought that her husband would marry for the second time.
Her son was only three when her husband brought his second wife. What else may be more annihilating for a lady who cleared out her family behind for a man with a dream of having a joyful life being, then abandoned by the same man on that journey? Hopefully, mother nature has created the women in such a way that they easily do not give up and try to hold onto things. Even sacrifice themselves for their loved one.
She did not have the heart to leave her son and her husband. Hence, she stayed with him for two more years. During that time, she had gone through so much torture, physical, and mental violence. Then one day, she decided she had had enough and talked with her parents and filed the police complaint against her husband.
However, she didn’t have enough evidence so she could not hold the case for longer than 22 days. There was no marriage certificate hence she couldn’t claim for any alimony.
Fate has once again born her to the lap of her parents along with her little son. Her parents planned to find a new groom for her. They found one. He was also married before but his wife had left him when his son was three years old.
At first, she was reluctant to marry him. Once she came to know that he shared the common story, she decided to start a new life with him. After marriage, her husband kept his son with him. When she did the same, she felt a kind of sense hatred towards her son from her now-husband. With the force of her now-husband unwillingly, she sent her son to her former husband to make her new marriage work. It has been five years since she has not seen her son.
From childhood to present, her life had been a rollercoaster ride. Life had been harsh to her since her childhood. When she looked back to her life she laments the choice she had made for herself.
She feels like if only she had got proper guidance at that time, her life would have taken a different direction. One wrong decision of her life had almost made her life miserable. Indeed after putting so much effort into making the first marriage, she finished up being hurt. She got the wound which she is now trying to heal with a smile.
When she sees her friends who are now independent, she regrets dropping out of school. If only the circumstances had been better she could have studied more rather than getting into the marriage, a wrong decision. Life became a great teacher for her.
She once again a mother of a new son. But sadly, she is not happy enough with her now-husband as she cannot make any decisions herself. But she tends to be happy and smiles. She says she is happy now.
She used to miss her first son very much. She has the hope to meet him very soon. Her happiness and smiley face may reflect her success story rather than her failure story. And she is proud of it.
Now, she wants to be independent. She wishes to have some elementary skills such as stitching, knitting so that she can live an independent life. She has the aspiration to have her husband’s support on this. She is sure that one day he will support her decision.
For now, she is busy nurturing her two sons to make them a good person. Looking at her smiling all the time makes her positive and makes her forget the stressed past moments. And that way people would not pity her for the hardship she had dealt with before.
Pabitra learned from her own life. She urges all women to make the decision wisely and strategically to prevent her kinds of consequences and do not forget to smile.
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