By Being Different is not Abnormal
It was in class 10 and we were almost at the end of the last quarter of the year. The SLC pressure, losing friends, choosing a college, choosing a career, and whatnot was hanging on to our heads. We all were sitting under the sun warming ourselves during the tiffin break. We were talking about all sorts of things. Suddenly, a friend opened up to us and said he was gay.
He always showed feminine behavior. He was conscious about the way he looked, the way he dressed, and the way he talked. Though he was confident, his body language was awkward, it always seemed as if he was hiding something. Little did we knew what was actually happening?
We all were stunned, some walked away, some asked questions and some just stayed there in a shock. We all were mere 14-15 years old, and this was definitely a huge shock to all of us. I still remember that day, it was not as usual and absolutely alarming. It was hard for us to get hold of that information. He, in his full trust, confessed about his sexual preference and we acted outrageously, at least for a brief moment.
He used to talk about a guy from our class. In an indirect way, he used to compliment him and he always hesitated while talking with him. But he was totally fine with the rest. Later I joined the dots that he actually used to like him.
Imagine a boy liking another boy from the same class at that time. It would have been a total scene, a disaster if anybody would have figured that out. I believe that was one thing he always had to struggle, to express his feeling towards a guy. Other than that, there was not even a single hint that made us think he was gay.
We youths call ourselves a change maker, an influencer, an advocate, and many things that we hesitate to stand by. We do not think twice when we have to speak for someone we have not ever met, but when it comes to our own friends and family we became repulsive. We do not want someone closer to us to be different.
Is it because we are protective or is it because we do not want them to be seen from different lenses? It is still an unanswered question to me.
Some of us are still a good friend to him while some left without saying anything. After confessing to us, he opened up to his parents and is now in a happy relationship with his boyfriend.
When people confess about such a secret, they generally tend to change, but he was abnormally the same. Same in the sense that his behavior never changed, he was totally normal like he used to be, and moreover, he acted as if he never told us anything.
This made me feel like I was more in the side of abnormalcy, thinking about how he is not like us and will have to face trouble. His unchanged behavior made me realized that being gay or lesbian or different is just normal as being normal is.
If I had just a little bit of wisdom that I have now, I would have asked him more about his life, his struggles, his journey, and moreover, I would have said “No matter what, I am always there for you” instead of staying still. But he knows this in his heart though.
Read More From Srisha Poudel:
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